By Judy Halone-The Courier-Herald

Terrie Noble, Ron Klungess and Lew Cox each have a message for families who lave lost a loved one due to the violent act of murder: You are not alone, your loved one will never be forgotten and there is hope.

That's the message Noble took to Olympia Sept. 25, when a crowd of more than 100 gathered on the steps of the capital building for the inaugural National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims. The event took place with just three weeks' planning, said Noble, who spearheaded the event.

&#8220I couldn't ask for it to have turned out better,” Noble said. &#8220We had a great presence of people and law enforcement officers.”

While victims' families and friends held up pictures of loved ones, four guest speakers told about the importance of letting others know there is a network of support for family members, who are also known as co-victims, or victim survivors.

Noble - the sister of Bonney Lake councilwoman Cheryl Noble - spoke from experience; her 22-year-old son, Levi, was killed in a violent crime July 29, 2004, after a suspect turned a gun on him and fired nine times, she said. &#8220Five of those shots were fatal,” Nobel said.

Her grief rocketed during the sentencing. &#8220He admitted he took the perfect opportunity to kill him,” she said.

Nine months later, Noble discovered Violent Crime Victim Services, a nonprofit group in Tacoma.

&#8220When you lose a family member to a violent crime, you're like the plague; people run from you,” she said. &#8220I realized I needed help. There is a real benefit in that support group because everyone is understood.”

The organization was founded by Lew Cox, the father of 20-year-old Carmen, who was murdered 22 years ago. The nonprofit group holds monthly support meetings and offers emotional support through the judicial and sentencing process for co-victims.

&#8220You have no idea that you can ever experience a pain like this,” Cox said. &#8220It's worse than putting a vice on a broken leg.”

Both Cox and Noble turned their grief into an avenue of networking with others; Noble also became a police chaplain through the Olympia Police Department.

Co-victims run through a gamut of emotions, especially when they realize that every 25 minutes someone is murdered in America, Noble said. &#8220That's a classroom a day,” she added.

Cox agreed. &#8220You have no concept of a future,” he said.

Ron Klugness, a Bonney Lake resident, understands that concept. His wife, Susan, was found murdered in her home on March 2, 1996. His 14-year-old son, Jeffrey, disappeared at the same time and is listed as missing. Both incidents remain unsolved.

&#8220Your world turns completely upside down,” Klugness said. &#8220I stopped church. I stopped everything. I kept my depression to myself.”

Four months after Susan's death and Jeffrey's disappearance, Klugness discovered VCVS.

&#8220I look forward to going to these meetings,” Klugness said. &#8220At first, I didn't want to talk. But I felt pretty comfortable after awhile with these people,” he said. &#8220But I still have good days and bad days.”

Noble said the meetings made all the difference in helping her cope.

&#8220You will just never meet nicer people ever,” Nobel said of VCVS. &#8220These are people who care so deeply because they've been through the pain themselves; we know the worst of hurt.”

Noble, Cox and Klugness said remembering loved ones - both through the National Day of Remembrance and frequent support meetings - are vital to the mental and emotional being of those left behind.

&#8220There are some people who never work through their grief,” Cox said. &#8220They feel guilty and that they don't deserve (to heal). There are others who dive right in to work through the process.

&#8220I'd like people to be aware that if they do experience this loss, there are direct services that help support them through the bereavement process,” he said.

&#8220These are people who care so deeply because they've been through the pain themselves,” Noble said. &#8220They need to know they are not alone.”

Klugness agreed.

&#8220They'd better get a support group,” Klugness said. &#8220They think they can handle it on their own - and some of them go for years thinking they can do that- but they can't.”

&#8220You never get over it,” Cox said. &#8220But we're all about giving hope because we understand their pain.”

For more information, call 253-383-5254 or visit Violent Crime Victims Services' Web site at www.vcvs.org.

Judy Halone can be reached at jhalone@courierherald.com.