OUR CORNER: ‘None of the Above’ to beat the Dumb

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I’ve been a political junkie for more than 20 years. But this year is trying my patience.

This year is literally the Dumbest election season I have ever seen. There have been bad choices in the past, but this year is just Dumb.

There’s no other word for it.

I’ve watched senate and gubernatorial debates from across the country this season and really, in a great many cases, this election comes down to a rational candidate who understands the issues (but happens to be from an unpopular party) and a complete dimwit.

Oct. 19, for example, the Tea Party candidate in Delaware, Christine O’Donnell, actually questioned the separation of church and state, one of the longest-held tenants of American law.

Sure, her campaign issued a statement later saying she was (rightfully) pointing out that the phrase does not appear anywhere in the document (it was actually coined by Thomas Jefferson in a letter to a Baptist congregation), but judging by the exchange itself, that’s backpedalling and she is just Dumb.

When her opponent summed it up by saying “government shall make no establishment of religion” (close enough for punk rock), O’Donnell, thinking she was scoring points, smirked and demanded, “That’s in the First Amendment?”

Yes, yes it is. Read it. Just once. Please.

But this is pretty common this year. The Dumb are taking over.

Luckily in Washington the Dumb candidate didn’t make it to the finals, but that still doesn’t mean we have a decent choice in our Senate race. I am yet to hear Dino Rossi say anything that’s not a party-line talking point or offer any single idea for solving the problems his party created. And his debate performances were terrible. There’s certainly reasons to oppose Patty Murray, but as near as I can tell, the only reason Rossi is offering is “I’m not Patty Murray.”

The slogan on his signs say “Take America Back 2010” and as near as I can tell, Rossi’s only plan is to take America back to about 2004, policy-wise. I’d prefer to Take America Forward, myself.

The hope on the right, of course, is that voters don’t notice that the change they voted for isn’t happening because the obstructionism of the opposition, which, it should be pointed out, not only has voted against its own policies on multiple occasions but has yet to offer an alternative besides “NO!”

Just once I would like to see a Republican who talks to voters like a grownup. And lord knows we need a rational opposition party now more than ever.

But at least Rossi isn’t one of the Dumb. That’s comforting. He just hasn’t given a single reason to vote FOR him as opposed to AGAINST Murray.

It’s the same mistake John Kerry made.

In Washington, the Dumb comes comes at us from different angles.

Take the initiatives, for example. This year we have the perfect example of why the initiative process is a bad idea in the form of two competing measures.

Personally, I think the initiative process subverts our representative democracy and results in terrible laws, since all you need is a good soundbyte in a commercial to fool the people into voting for it.

This year, the hot issue is the privatization of liquor sales.

On the surface, it’s a great idea. There is absolutely no need for the government to be involved in the sale of liquor. It’s bad for the consumer and it’s a waste of government time.

It is, however, very profitable and right now, I am not sure the state can suffer the loss of revenue, but that is really a different issue.

The real problem is that both of these initiatives were written by special interests and both are not-very-good laws because of it. Neither one is worth passing.

Sure, when the laws get written by legislators, the special interests have their fingers in the pot and certainly write parts of the law. But at least they don’t get to write the whole law and then simply pour billions of dollars in out-of-state corporate advertising money into trying to snow the public into thinking the law is good for them.

It should be a simple, but binding referendum: Do you think the state should get out of the liquor business?

If the answer is yes (and it would be by a resounding margin, I’d bet) the legislature should be forced to do their job and write a law. But letting corporate interests who stand to gain actually write their own laws is just bad, bad government.

But it’s not just the initiatives that have proven stupid. This season has, in multiple races, shown the problem with the “top-two primary” (which, by the way, is also Dumb).

I mean, if you are a Republican living in my district (the 25th), who do you vote for as your state senator? Neither of the two candidates represent your views so it comes down to the lesser of two evils. And voting like that makes me feel dirty.

The 31st Senate race is the same way if you are a Democrat. And that race is easily the dirtiest thing I have ever seen, so picking the lesser of two evils is tough enough that I wouldn’t hold it against anyone who opts not to vote in that race.

So I propose this: All elections should include a “none of the above” option, a la “Brewster’s Millions.” Because while “The Toy” is obviously the better movie, the “none of the above” option that Richard Pryor’s character injects into the New York mayor’s race is pure genius.

In the movie, though he officially drops out, “None of the Above” wins the election and that forces another election with a new slate of candidates.

I love that. It makes so much sense that it could only have come from a mid-1980s comedy. Imagine having an option for those terrible races where neither one of the candidates is worthy of your vote.

It’s a great idea and would hopefully better ensure that we give our vote to people who best represent us, our views and our interests. It might even help us beat back the Dumb.

Shoot, that’s an initiative even I would vote for.