Early November is a quiet time, a hush of moments filled with good memories of past warmer days, sun on the water, gardens erupting into bloom, hours of large expenditure of energy followed by moments that give us time to pause before the holidays.
In one of those pauses some of my friends in my classes talked about things that were invented, or began to be widely used, that had made a difference in caring for their home and family – before computers.
Some grew up on farms, even homesteading in the Midwest, while others were city kids. One is an Okie whose family came West during America’s Dust Bowl days. Everyone had stories to tell about growing up – their jobs, meeting their spouses, losing friends and making new ones. There were stories of joy and sorrow and even a bit of scandal, but everyone survived and became stronger in the process. In the midst of our storytelling I asked if their children and grandchildren knew these stories. Some said no, others that they would not care or would be bored.
Family gatherings during the upcoming holidays can be an opportunity to share stories of you and your parents’ lives and pass them on to the children and grandchildren. I believe we have an obligation and, if not that, a magnificent opportunity to pass on the values, ideas and principles that we feel are important and that run through the family’s generations. Children need to know who and where they come from.
Perhaps the family’s grandfather or uncle was a war veteran. Does anyone know that? Maybe Aunt Ruth, who makes a great apple pie, left her family in the Dakotas to come by herself to work building planes at Boeing. Maybe someone gave up her own dream to raise brothers and sisters after their parents died in an influenza epidemic. Did anyone in the family lose everything in the stock market crash, like my family did, and have to start all over again?
These are stories of survival and strength that will tell the younger ones that life can be hard, but we worked hard to pull our families together and they can, too.
What values, ideas and principles run through your family stories? Generosity, always do your best, treat the customer fairly and he will come back, God is the center of our family, in times of trouble the family is here for you, hard work pays off, treasure the good moments of life, set a goal and figure out how to reach it, make music together and, if you move away, stay in contact with the family.
Young people can feel pretty rootless today and think their friends are more important than their families. We need to give our children roots and a sense of being part of a long line that reaches back in time and, even if they seem bored, they will hear you telling them who they are. I certainly wished I had listened more when I was younger.
Take a step, seniors, and start the conversation. We are all rich with stories to share and Thanksgiving is the perfect time to start.
