By Brenda Sexton

The Courier-Herald

Sarah is a petite, soft-spoken 10 year old, but when she's in the arena with a 16-hands high, 1,100-pound, full-of-life Tennessee walking horse she's assertive and confident.

As the horse paces the rail of the enclosure, Sarah, poised and strong, commands respect. Without the use of reins or a harness, Sarah brings the horse to her side. She is strong, yet respectful.

&#8220I've learned even though the horse is 10 times bigger than I am I can still be an authority over it,” Sarah said. &#8220If I can control something so much bigger than I am. I can control them when they're not being nice.”

Sarah is talking about the students who sometimes badgered and bullied her at her Seattle school. What Sarah has learned from executive coach Peggy Gilmer and the horses, she can directly apply to her life.

Sarah has learned to use her body language and voice before tugging on the reins.

&#8220There's something magical about how Peggy works,” said Sarah's father, Tom Elwood, who described his daughter as shy with a reticent personality.

In just a few meetings since February, Elwood said Sarah's teachers have even noted her growing confidence.

&#8220Horses teach us to be resonant leaders,” Gilmer said. &#8220A horse's survival depends on being attuned to others. They live in the moment and are incapable of being anything but authentic.”

Gilmer lights up when her clients make the connection.

&#8220Sarah's quick to learn. What is really remarkable with her is she's really getting to know that touch-and-go feeling,” Gilmer said. Gilmer said Sarah shows the attributes of a leader - she's present, intentional and authoritative. She's not muscling the horse to do what she wants. She's disciplined and focused.

Gilmer knows what it takes to create a good leader. She spent 35 years improving organizational systems locally, nationally and internationally. She has worked at all corporate levels from boardrooms to shop floors.

&#8220The key is relationships,” Gilmer said, &#8220and how well we connect or how we don't.”

Unlike her pervious jobs, coaching executives was different.

&#8220I fell in love. They came because they wanted to, it wasn't imposed on them,” she said. &#8220I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven.”

About the same time Gilmer was diagnosed with cancer.

&#8220For me, cancer was the realization I was not living life like I wanted. I bought the farm,” she jokes. &#8220To keep from not buying the farm.”

She literally bought the farm - five acres on the Enumclaw Plateau she dubbed Silk Purse Farms.

She studied with a horse trainer for a number of years. She started to see a connection between the trainer's leadership and relationship with the horse and what she's been teaching for years. Horses, she discovered, show a leader when they are present, intentional, authentic and connected, the four attributes of good leadership.

&#8220Horses are awesome at all these things,” she said. &#8220Horse doesn't want to be a leader.” But, they know what they want in a leader.

In 2004, she retired and started her own business.

Today, strictly through word of mouth and her world-wide reputation, Gilmer has built a clientele. Her barn doors are open to high-powered executives, but also to youngsters, especially pre-adolescent girls. Her client lists includes the Bellevue and Kent school districts, Seattle Girls School, General Motors, Ford Motor company, AIG Insurance, Citibank, London Underground, Boeing and NASA.

When she works with children like Sarah, Gilmer said she is helping them grow in self-respect and self-awareness and giving them the ability to have healthy relationships with others.

&#8220The most magical thing happened when kids started coming out there,” Gilmer said. &#8220Girls transform in one lesson. It's so thrilling to watch these girls.”

Working with Gilmer, Elwood said, has given Sarah a stronger sense of self and allowed her to stand her ground.

&#8220These sessions have been so good for Sarah,” he said. &#8220She really looks forward to them.”

&#8220She has grown so much in her determination and ability to require a request,” Gilmer said.

At one point, during a recent session when Sarah was on her regular horse, Reba, she surrendered her power giving the horse control, but, Gilmer pointed out, she recognized it right away and knew what to do.

&#8220She used her concentration to regain command and get back in charge,” Gilmer said.

Gilmer decided to test Sarah with a different horse, the little more head-strong and less attentive Savanah. Sarah had to change her approach.

A lesson not lost on Sarah, and one often not lost on executives either.

&#8220I almost always have to give them two horses,” Gilmer said. She has a stable of six, of various ages and personalities, at the ready.

&#8220Leader is a role, not a power position, you have a responsibility,” Gilmer said. Leaders, she adds, must be true to their intentions and clear at communicating those intentions.

A few minutes in the ring with a horse, and Gilmer can see a leader's strengths and weaknesses and select a suitable equine coach to help either change or reinforce those characteristics.

&#8220Sometimes we have people come out to have the horse tell us what they need,” Gilmer said.

&#8220Peggy is really good at that, making the analogies at how a person handles a horse and what their personality is like and what they need to work on,” Elwood said.

&#8220On her own, Peggy is a powerful coach - but the interaction with her and the horses instantaneously made ‘lessons' immediate and real. I could suddenly feel myself leading a horse - and her response to me gave me, for the first time, a sense of what I was working toward with my employees,” said Nancy Golosman, vice president for the public relations firm Golin Harris in Gilmer's press information.

And, as Sarah pointed out with a grin, &#8220it's fun.”

&#8220Any other method would be a chore,” her father smiled. &#8220Every girl's dream is to come work with horses.”

Brenda Sexton can be reached at bsexton@courierherald.com.