The alleged murder of Mary Mushapaidzi by her boyfriend Mthulisi Ndlovu on Oct. 2 brought the problem of domestic violence to the front page of the papers again, starting off National Domestoc Violence Awareness Month in a way no one had hoped, but making it impossible to ignore.

With purple ribbons and a proclamation from the mayor, the city of Bonney Lake this week acknowledged and lent its support to the annual event and welcomed Joe O’Neil, executive director of Exodus Housing in Sumner, which works with victims of domestic violence.

“Domestic violence hits close to home,” O’Neil said after mayor Neil Johnson read the proclamation recognizing October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month in Bonney Lake.

In his brief remarks, O’Neil cited the charging papers in the Ndlovu case that said neighbors heard yelling and the sounds of someone being beaten, but opted not to call police and said that domestic violence is something we as a community can no longer turn away from.

“As a result, we have a lady that’s dead,” O’Neil said Friday. “Quite honestly it made me sick to my stomach.”

O’Neil encouraged all citizens to be alert for signs of domestic violence and to call for help if they hear a situation.

Calling 911 is so simple,” O’Neil said. “Erring on the side of safety is calling 911.”

O’Neil said signs to watch for in family and friends that may indicate a situation of domestic abuse include someone using fear to control a partner, including needing permission to leave the house or participate in events. Threats to keep people silent or living in fear of another incident of rage are also signs you may be in a domestic violence situation.

Outwardly, victims of domestic violence may pull away and indicate a desire not to go home or may have dwindling communications or isolation from friends and family.

“Women need to trust their instincts,” O’Neil said. “If they are not going to get help it’s just going to get worse.”

O’Neil said often neighbors may hear something, like those mentioned in the charging papers, but do not believe they should get involved in someone else’s business, though domestic violence can affect a whole community.

“The reality is it’s all of our business,” o’Neil said.

O’Neil said this year he is encouraging men especially to be vigilant against domestic violence and to stand up to abusers.

“People need to go beyond being aware of domestic violence and to be active and visible,” he said. “You may save someone’s life.”

Exodus Housing is a Sumner-based organization developed to provide transitional housing and supportive services for homeless families and victims of domestic violence in suburban and rural settings.

Since 1994, Exodus has served families who are homeless in the communities of Auburn, Enumclaw, Federal Way, Kent, Pacific, Puyallup and Tacoma.Exodus provides families who have been homeless with stable housing and reconnects families to their community through a supportive network of local mentors. They offer clients a continuum of service referrals that range from education or workforce training opportunities, counseling services, domestic violence services, legal assistance and more.

The organization is hosting its second “Take the Plunge Against Domestic Violence” fundraiser at 11 a.m. Oct. 29 at Allan Yorke Park. For more information or to register to jump into Lake Tapps to support domestic violence awareness, visit http://www.exodushousing.org/