“That rush, that drug, that dope
Those pills, that crumb, that roach
Thinkin’ I would never do that, not that drug
And growing up nobody ever does
Until your stuck, lookin’ in the mirror like I can’t believe what I’ve become
Swore I was goin’ to be someone
And growing up everyone always does”
Macklemore – “Otherside”
I am closer to age 60 than 50. My daughter recently bought herself a sporty little Scion. She came over to take me for a spin. We were driving with the sunroof open on state Rooute 410 listening to music. She said, “I like this local rapper” and turned up the music. I replied “Oh, Macklemore.” She glanced at me in shock.
Hi. My name is Laurie and I listen to Macklemore. Yes, he is a little raw, but the message is good, like Thrift Shop. But the lyrics above remind me of the headline in the newspaper in October 2012 “Eighteen teens arrested from MIP at Bonney Lake party.”
Then again, in April 2013, “Birthday party in Bonney Lake apartment leads to 24 underage drinking arrests.”
There is a countywide task force of law enforcement agencies who intervene in teen drinking parties, along with volunteer and professional support that is provided to the kids and their parents on the night of the parties. This has resulted in a reduction of more than 60 percent in teen impaired-driving fatalities in the county. This is good news.
Did you know drinking drivers aged 15 to 20 are twice as likely to be involved in a fatal crash as drinking drivers 21 and over? Before the lifesaving project was begun in Pierce County, an average of 12 to 15 young drivers died each year on the roadways. Over the past two years, one teen has died. That is one too many.
There are additional patrols focusing on post-arrest substance abuse interventions and meetings with parents will continue through the summer when many youth will take their alcohol parties outside. The patrols involve Pierce County law enforcement agencies, substance abuse professionals and community volunteers. They are funded by the Washington Impaired Driving Council and administered through Pierce County Community Connections.
Okay, so all teens rebel, try drugs and alcohol. It’s no big deal. Or is it?
It is a big deal if the behavior continues, if it affects their grades, their job, their friends change, their family worries about their drastic change or their choices. There is a lack of boundaries and no accountability. It is only normal for those who love them to try to help.
Is it genetic or a learned behavior? Peer pressure? In 1954 the American Medical Association declared alcoholism “a chronic disease over which the drinker has no control.” Alcoholism is a progressive disease, often devastating for those closest to the alcoholic as it is for the drinker, just the same for drug addiction.
In their effort to change the alcoholic, family and friends find themselves frustrated by their inability to affect any change in the alcoholic or drug addicted person. Only when loved ones hit their bottom and learn they are powerless of the alcohol/drugs and it affects that any real progress can be made.
There are support groups for loved ones to learn they didn’t cause it, can’t cure it, they can’t control it but they can contribute to their loved one’s addiction by killing them with kindness (otherwise known as enabling). Some feel like doormats, feeling trampled on. Al-Anon support groups don’t focus on fixing the alcoholic; it is to help those tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. When the focus moves from the drinker to the family taking care of themselves, they lead happier more manageable lives themselves. And changed attitudes can aid recovery. I know that for a fact.
Alcoholism and drug addiction is a family disease. Many children are profoundly affected by a parent’s drinking. They experience much the same feelings that adults do, including a sense of loss, confusion and guilt. Stomach aches and headaches may be some of the stress related illnesses that manifest. And they may mimic their parent’s behavior. Alateen was formed in 1957 to help young people recover from the effect of someone else’s drinking.
“I never thought I would, didn’t pick up the book
Doin’ it by myself, didn’t turn out that good
If I can be an example of getting sober
Then I can be an example of starting over
If I can be an example of getting sober
Then I can be an example of starting over
We fell so hard
Now we gotta get back what we lost.. lost..
I felt you’d go
But you were with me all along.. along..”
Macklemore-Starting Over
AA and Narcotics Anonymous is the 12-step program of meetings and literature (the book) for the alcoholic/addict to get sober, stay sober and pick themselves up and starting over (a slip). There are meetings and sponsors who are with you all along. One day at a time.
Family members can also have slips. It is what it is.
For more information and finding one of the many meetings on the plateau:
Al-Anon/Alateen: www.alanon.org or call 800-726-8094
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): 253-474-8897
Narcotics Anonymous: 253-531-8792
