The following was written by Trip Hart: SoHaPP – The Science of Happiness and Positive Psychology

Hostility brewing in America is maintained by conspiratorial undercurrents of the paranoia consuming our lands. Seemingly, every one and every thing is being attacked. We are in a fight-mode type of existence, and to get out from under this, kindness is no longer optional.

COVID has disrupted every aspect of life in the past two years. You don’t wear a face covering and you’re maligned. You do wear a face covering and you’re mocked. Murders in the United States went up more than 27 percent in 2020, and went up again in 2021 (there are many reasons for this). It is terrifying the extent to which portions of our country and culture have become so polarized. To right this ship, kindness is no longer optional, but how do we do it?

By the words we say and the acts we do. Kindness is the key. It is not an option any more. Let’s start with our words, as taught by Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet:

“When we’re hurting, it’s all too easy to utter words that damage ourselves and those we care about. But with loving, skillful speech, we stop hurting each other and can begin to heal… . With just a few kind, loving words, you can offer happiness to so many people, including yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh.

Not only for others, but for ourselves we must be mindful of our intent to use “loving” words, and be skilled at crafting our conversations to always include kindness.

For our actions, we need go no further than MLK: ”Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Can it be as simple as using kindness to quell this hostility rampaging through our lives? Can our daily acts shine light on what is truly important, and drive out this negative force bringing us down?

This is how we get there. To be more kind, we must practice being kind. It takes effort. When it becomes automatic, it is no longer optional. It is just who we have become. How can this be done? We learned in SoHaPP’s last month’s article on becoming more Positive, it is quite easy to change one’s brain. Every day for 30 days, just do a little bit. The Habits for Happiness practice suggests making it forefront in your thinking and acting to perform more than what you’d normally do, and your mental make-up will change accordingly.

Try to consciously do, more than normal, three (or more) specific acts of kindness each day for 30 days. A kind gesture, word or deed counts. Look for kindness in how others are acting, and praise them. When others are kind to you, bring notice to their acts and be grateful. Make it always in the front of your brain, and with not much effort, you’ve become a different “you”. Those brain connections have become shorter and stronger – more automatic. It won’t be optional any longer. You’ll just naturally do it that way.

And we can begin to heal. Do this yourself, as you control only yourself. Others will not only benefit from your acts and example, they will follow your lead. You will become a healing force for our community, and importantly also for yourself.

SoHaPP, the Science of Happiness and Positive Psychology, has a total of five suggested habits, and the three others are being more Mindful, Active and Grateful. Each of these others will be reviewed in the Courier Herald at the beginning of the next three months. Till then, help planet earth become more Kind. Go to www.sohapp.org for the science supporting this improving of our mental wellness. Kindness can drive out hostility, and it is up to each of us. Just become more Kind.