Give me the sounds of spring to sweep away the bone-chilling cold of winter. Bees buzzing, birds singing their sweet song and wolf whistles while an aesthetically pleasing young women strolls innocently by like a perfumed zephyr.

But let us not forget the most scintillating spring sound of all. The crack of a cylindrical wooden bat making contact – round surface upon round surface – with a stitched baseball, to make it sail out of the ball yard in major league fashion, with a vapor trail billowing behind it.

You’ll notice, “the crack of a cylindrical wooden bat,” not the tink or ping of an aluminum bat, that unfortunately seem so popular these days.

You all will have to understand then forgive me. I was born in 1956, the year Mickey Mantle, the most prolific switch-hitter in the rich history of pro baseball, earned the American League’s coveted Triple Crown for recording the highest batting average (.353), the most home runs (52) and most runs batted in (130).

The year I graduated from high school (1974), this very same pride of Spavinaw, Okla., was inducted into the MLB Hall of Fame.

When it comes to baseball I am a purist or traditionalist, whatever you choose to call it. Gloves made of leather and, most importantly, bats made of wood. Preferably ash wood, dried in a kiln for just the right amount of time to alleviate or evaporate the sap, and with no cork inserted into the middle thank you very much. The classic Louisville Slugger, if you will.

To hell with aluminum bats!

Please. Melt them down and use them for beer cans or for my personal favorite non-alcoholic beverage, lime Diet Coke.

The Mick is probably spinning in his grave over two modern day dilemmas occurring in the big show right now.

First, the astronomical paydays being demanded and awarded by big league players and clubs respectively, our boy A-Rod being the poster child for that particular malaise.

Both sides refuse to acknowledge or even hint at the remote possibility of a salary cap. There, I said it. I for one, am of the opinion that this euphoric (for the players) yet unrealistic (for the fans) state of affairs currently existing in pro baseball will eventually culimnate in the ruination of the thinking man’s professional game.

The price of nosebleed seat tickets, to watch even the Mariners, continue to rise, but I can live with that because we have the nicest ballpark in the country. Especially on a beautiful summer night. The price of food and beer is somewhat obscene, but that is what it is. Being the thrifty Scottish  individual that I am, I usually just take a bag of pistachio nuts, then buy a $4 bottle of water and nurse it for all it is worth.

Second, those ridiculous, pretentious aluminum bats that have filtered their way from Little League to high schools to the college game. Those contraptions  help young folks crush a baseball further than it has ever been blasted before. So did steroids, but don’t even get me started down that road.

Mickey Mantle sent some of the most prodigious pokes screaming with pain and did it with what he so humbly referred to as his “Sweet Swinging Slugging Stick.” It was a piece of wood.

Just to make sure I wasn’t alone, I roamed around the newspaper office and made some inquiries.

Production Manager Joan Carlson, a died in the wool, devout Mariner fan (bless her heart) said of aluminum bats, “I hate them. It is just one more way for ALCOA to turn a profit as far as I am concerned.”

Brian Beckley, the dude who faithfully puts your newspaper together each week, is a fervent Phillies fanatic who was quick to share his dislike of aluminum. “If they ever do allow metal bats in the majors, they sure better enlarge the ballparks, because it would be tantamount to lowering the hoops in the NBA.” Truer words were never spoken, my Pennsylvanian pal.

Bottom line, there is no room for aluminum bats in any phase of baseball.

So I besiege you. Go out to your garages, gather up all of those damnable implements of destruction, throw them in the back of your station wagon and haul them to the nearest recycling facility. I’ve heard aluminum is fetching a reasonable price these days.