Men, how many of the following tendencies discussed below are true of you? Have you ever wondered why? I’ve come to see these traits more clearly as I’ve gotten older. Some of them are true for me, and some aren’t. Some I’ve learned from other men to get along and to be part of the group—to bond and to connect. Others are just baffling.

Sports: Sports is one area that seems to consume a lot of men’s time and attention. It’s an area that involves competition. Perhaps it’s football or basketball or soccer or wrestling.

I had a very bookish and intellectual boss who happened to be the dean of faculty at the college I attended in California. He was also a pastor. He found that if he read about sports, he could have a topic to open up discussions and connect with male members of the churches he ministered to. He wasn’t interested in sports and had never competed, but it was a conversation starter — like talking about the weather.

One of my sons-in-law is really into sports. I took the advice and example of my former boss and have been reading the sports pages for a long time. I am familiar enough with what is going on with the Mariners, Seahawks, or whether we get the return of Sonics to Seattle. I asked my son-in-law a few questions and was surprised to learn that he has encyclopedic knowledge of the sports world. He could answer every question I asked him. He knows as much as I know about history and current affairs!

I know why I’m into history and politics. I’m a social studies teacher. It was and is my job. But that doesn’t answer why anyone would spend so much time reading about who was traded to which team, or where the Mariners are in the MLB standings.

Remember the year the Seahawks won the Superbowl? Remember the next year when we lost on an interception on the one-yard line? Why does it matter now? One year comes followed by another season. What long-term effect does it have on our lives? Why the male obsession with sports? I’m baffled.

Teasing: I learned this male trait only over the last decade. I had a friend who used insults and cutting remarks to connect with other men. I found that if I returned insults we connected better. It was as if insults were part of male competition, but it was just in fun. When I come in contact with another male who relates this way, then I slip into my teasing mode. It seems to be a form of male bonding that, again I had to learn. It did not come naturally to me.

Why do so many men relate to each other in this way?

Sex: Sex is for men what food is for dogs. Men seem to be obsessed with it, especially in their younger years.. But even in old age, it shapes our identities and what we think about. If you watch social media, notice how many examples of clickbait are set up as lures to draw someone into clicking onto a video, even though the topic really has nothing to do with the female sex. Sex sells cars, tools, and video games. How many men are addicted to pornography? Why is sex so addictive? Why are males so programmed in this area?

Biology and genetics play a major part in men acting the way described in this column. These male tendencies take up a lot of men’s time and thoughts. There is nothing wrong with men being aggressive and competitive. Unfortunately, in many cases it makes men lesser husbands, fathers, and friends.

The question put before men is to consider how this energy might be redirected to serve society. Knowing these male proclivities can help men redirect their thinking to attaining more balanced lives, becoming better contributors to society as a whole.

These are only three examples of what it’s like to be male and to spend so much time thinking about sports, teasing and taunts, and sex. Competition and aggression are usually part of being male — for better or for worse until death do us part.